Priest 2: Sire, he may be no real threat to us at all.

Herod: Real threat! Any kind of a threat, real or not, must be dealt with. If this kid is what everyone says about him, not only will it be the end of my reign, but it will be the end of your priestly leadership as well.

Priest 2: What are you talking about?

Herod: Even I know that God's so-called Messiah is to be a political and religious leader. If this kid is the Messiah, the world will no longer need you-- or me. Just think, you might have to go out and find real jobs.

Priest 2: (To priest 1) Is he serious?

Herod: Serious as a heart attack.

Priest 1: He's right. No question about it.

Priest 2: Then we must act.

Herod: I thought you would see it my way. It must be quick, clean, and decisive.

Priest 1: Can we discredit him or his lineage?

Priest 2: That would work.

Herod: Let's not be weaklings about this. We have to put an end to this now!

Priest 1: Once and for all.

Priest 2: But--

Herod: Captain!

Captain: Sir, yes sir.

Herod: A detachment, hand picked by you. (He paces.) Men who will obey any order without flinching, without question, without reason. Can you find such men?

Captain: Sir, yes sir.

Herod: When did they first see these stars?

Priest 2: Planets.

Herod: Planets, stars, whatever.

Priest 1: Eighteen to twenty months ago.

Herod: All right. Give or take a couple of months. Take your men, go to Bethlehem, and remove with extreme prejudice every male under the age of two.

Priest 2: What? I can't--

Herod: He is a threat to you and to me. This is the big leagues, kid. Can you do it, Captain?

Capt.: It will be done before tomorrow morning.

Priest 2: (Astonished) There must be some other way.

Herod: (He crosses over and stands in front of Priest 2.) Let me see your hands. (Priest 2 puts his hands out and Herod takes them in his.) These are weak hands. Hands of the rich. Only things these hands have ever touched are money, scripture, and the holy vessels. You know, if you have to dig ditches or something, you'd spoil those pretty hands. We have to be rid of him.

Priest 1: It's the only way.

Capt.: We have to be rid of him--

Priest 2: (In a stage whisper.) Once and for all. (Stands up.) Let's go. (He exits.)

Herod: (To priest 1) Is he strong enough?

Priest 1: He'll be fine. (He exits.)

Herod: Captain, if either one of them gets in the way, send him to meet that God of theirs.

Capt.: Yes sir.

Herod: Come, it's time for you to get busy, and it's time for my lunch. (They exit.)

^Return to Top^

Click Here to Order The Best of Lectionary Cycle "B" or Contact Us

Excerpt from John 20:19-31 Jesus Appears to the Disciples

Thomas: And maybe he just isn't coming.

Dis. 1: Stop talking that way. He'll be here.

Thomas: Yeah, when elephants fly. Just how much wine did you folks drink before you thought you saw him last week?

Dis. 3: He was not the hallucination of a bunch of drunks.

Dis. 2: We were stone-cold sober.

Thomas: (With sarcasm) Yeah, right.

Dis. 1: Just sit tight. He'll be here.

Thomas: This is pointless. No one's coming and you know it. Let's get out of here.

Dis. 3: Just sit down and be quiet. He'll come.

Thomas: Look, it's just--

Dis. 2: It's just a lack of faith on your part, that's all.

Dis. 1: Yeah, you never did believe, did you?

Thomas: What are you talking about? I've followed him since the day he called me. I am just as faithful as you are.

Dis. 3: Then how come you don't believe us now?

Thomas: Because he's dead.

Dis. 1: No he's not.

Thomas: Hello-o-o-o-o-o. Where have you been the last couple of weeks? He was put to death on a Roman Cross last Friday. He was crucified, and they speared him through the heart just for good measure. He's as dead as the proverbial doornail. End of story.

Dis. 2: Then explain the empty tomb.

Thomas: Grave robbers. Maybe the Romans or the Jews took his body.

Dis. 3: That's bologna. He rose from the dead.

Thomas: Look, I believed in him too. I saw him heal the sick, calm the storms, and raise the dead. I want to believe, but it just doesn't make sense.

Dis. 2: But what about the women who went to the tomb?

Dis. 1: And Mary Magdalene said she saw him.

Dis. 3: Actually had a conversation with him.

Thomas: Yeah, well, you know women.

Dis. 1: Go ahead, just dismiss all the proof.

Thomas: Proof! You've got to be kidding! All you've told me is speculation, rumor, and the ravings of crazy women. Forget it. Show me some proof and I'll believe.

Dis. 2: What kind of proof?

Thomas: Did you see the wounds from the nails in his hands and feet?

Dis. 1: I don't know.

Thomas: Did you see the wound in his side?

Dis. 3: He had clothes on.

Thomas: Let me see his hands, let me touch the wound in his side, and I'll believe. All right?

Dis. 2: You'll be sorry.

Thomas: What time is it?

Dis. 1: Seven-forty-five.

Thomas: Well, that's long enough for me. (He picks up his duffel bag.) I'm outta' here. (Jesus enters behind him.) The next time you have a little too much to drink and see the Master, tell him I said, "Hi." (Thomas does not turn around.)

Jesus: Thomas. (Everyone is frozen in position.)

^ Return to Top^

Click Here to Order The Best of Lectionary Cycle "B" or Contact Us

Excerpt from Acts 8:26-40 Philip & the Ethiopian

Philip: (Mocking) Sure, go on down to the Jerusalem Gaza road. You'll meet some friendly people, have a few laughs, and see the countryside. (Disgusted.) I've been out here for nearly three hours and I haven't seen a soul. That's the last time I listen to some angel. Come to think if it, I bet that wasn't even an angel. I mean, I didn't see a halo, wings, or that aura that angels are supposed to have. Well, that's the last time they fool good old Philip. (He stops suddenly.) What's that? It looks a like a chariot. (He looks.) Maybe he'll give me a ride. (The Ethiopian appears in the pulpit. He is reading as he rides along. Philip moves toward him and calls out.) Hey! You in the chariot.

Ethiopian: You're talking to me?

Philip: (Disgusted.) No, I'm talking to the other Ethiopian in a chariot.

Ethiopian: Well, good day then.

Philip: Wait, wait! I was talking to you. I was just being a wise guy.

Ethiopian: Ah yes, a wise man. Which king do you serve?

Philip: No, not a wise man, a wise guy.

Ethiopian: Well, whatever. Have a nice day.

Philip: Please wait.

Ethiopian: Who, me or that other Ethiopian you were talking to?

Philip: No, there was no other Ethiopian.

Ethiopian: Then who were you talking to?

Philip: Let's start over. My name is Philip. I've been out here for nearly three hours.

Ethiopian: Did your chariot break down? I belong to the chariot club. (He produces a card.) I never leave home without my card.

Philip: No, my chariot did not break down. I'm just out here walking.

Ethiopian: Well, I would have chosen a much nicer place to walk, but if you like the desert, to each his own.

Philip: No, I'm not out here for a walk.

Ethiopian: Then why are you out here?

Philip: Well, there was an angel, I mean an angel. . . never mind. You had to be there. Look, mind if I have a ride?

Ethiopian: No, not at all. I'd like the company.

Philip: Where are you going?

Ethiopian: Well, I'm on my way back to Ethiopia. I am the Treasurer for the country, and I am coming back from Jerusalem to my own country.

Philip: Why were you in Jerusalem?

Ethiopian: On a religious pilgrimage. Anyway, before you stopped me I was doing some reading.

Philip: What were you reading?

Ethiopian: I was reading the sacred scroll of Isaiah.

Philip: Wait a minute! Back up the chariot!

Ethiopian: (He pulls back on the reins.) Whoa, boy!

Philip: What are you doing?

Ethiopian: Backing up the chariot, as you asked.

Philip: No, don't really back up the chariot. It was just a figure of speech.

Ethiopian: I see.

Philip: Why were you, a gentile, reading from the sacred Word of the Jews?

Ethiopian: I did not know this book was reserved only for Jews. I thought it was for all people who want to have a relationship with the one true God.

Philip: You believe in Yaweh?

Ethiopian: If that is the one true God who created the heavens and the universe, then I believe.

^ Return to Top^

Click Here to Order The Best of Lectionary Cycle "B" or Contact Us